The holiday blues: Everyone experiences the season differently

ROCHESTER, Minn. (KTTC) – The holiday season brings families together and also triggers memories. This can be challenging if you are dealing with the loss of a loved one. Grief is not openly talked about, especially during this time of year.

According to grief expert, Caitlin Feasby, everyone experiences loss and grief, but not in the same way or at the same time. It is important to understand there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

“That family and togetherness time can serve as a stark reminder of exactly who is missing,” said Feasby.

Feasby says grief does not happen in specific stages, like society wants us to believe.

“Grief does not end, it does not have an ending point,” Feasby said.

Feasby recommends figuring out what works best in your grief process when it comes to adapting to the holidays, that is, after accepting a huge change has occurred in your life.

For some people that could mean skipping the family get-together this year.

A service or gathering highlighting grief may be helpful for others.

“We see the glitz and we see the sparkle and we hear the joy, and the happy and all the celebration and stuff, but that is not always people’s experience of the holidays. That’s in a normal year let alone the last 21 plus months that we’ve had,” said Presbyterian Church of Oronoco Pastor Lisa Johnson.

The Presbyterian Church of Oronoco is holding its first Quiet Christmas Service this year. This kind of service is seen across the country.

“They’re a service to hold space for other all of those others things that people feel during the holidays,” said Johnson.

“I think that having an opportunity to come together to feel a shared sense of loss really helps with the isolation that often accompanies and that tip-toeing around it that you might feel like you have to do in front of other people,” said Feasby.

The Quiet Christmas Service at the Presbyterian Church of Oronoco is Tuesday, December 21 at 7 p.m.

Moments Hospice is offering a Holiday Grief Program through December 27th as well as a virtual Candlelight Ceremony in January, 2022.

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